My first Beijing haircut

Since my Mandarin doesn't stretch to "2 and 1/2 with the clippers, all round" or "give me a Chairman Mao, but shorter" I hastily flick through my phrase book as I walk past the twin revolving barbers pole into our local hair salon.

Unfortunately, the phrase book section on hair styling isn't as helpful as I had hoped..."I'm in a hurry, please give me a quickie" - always useful, but not what I'm looking for this morning. "I'll have a mullet, please" - reminds me to check the phrase book's publication date.

So, it's good old hand gestures and a lady who spoke a few words of English that got things going Beijing style. First of all, shampoo and wash (thirty years since I last bothered with that at - down the Kings Road, I think). Then an invigorating head massage (which left a few lingering red blotches on my head) before "Kang A", the spikey-haired hair artiste and stylist, got to work. We figured out that 2 and 1/2 was about the same as 6mm and off he went. Finale was a further wash then blow dry (though my hair had dried in the time it took to walk back to the chair). Cost - 30RMB (£2) - though I think they would have paid me that for the fun they got putting me through this.

I could tell from the expression on Tac's face when I walked in that she thought it looked great. Will suggest head massage to Burke & Hare on Richmond roundabout..it would be a nice touch and more of a value add to customers than last year's "Trout Monthly".